The trick is knowing when to share them and when to keep quiet and let your partner express themselves without giving your opinion, advice for action, or downgrading the emotional content. (i.e. “You’re overreacting”, “You shouldn’t feel that way,” “Why didn’t you say…” “I would have handled it differently.”) Instead, ASK RATHER THAN ASSUME. Ask…
Memorize these sentences and use them frequently! “Here I am.” “We’re a team.” “We can work this out.” “I’m IN! I’m not going anywhere.” “I’m here for you.” “What do you need?” “I’ll do my best to try to hear you and give you what you want.” “ I value you.” “You are important to…
The theme of most power struggles is : How are we going to run our relationship.. your way or my way? It’s me versus you; there’s no US in sight. In this polarized ‘right and wrong’ – “I win, you lose” battling— the real loser is the relationship. Disengage by consciously choosing to take off…
You know the ones I’m talking about. The low self esteem generated ‘Am I enough?’ inquiries. The ONLY ‘get out of jail’ answer is to meet and greet these questions with a loving, supportive, affirming response. For example: Am I fat? “You look beautiful to me.” Am I sexy? “ALWAYS, TOTALLY!” Am I balding? “I…
Keep your conversation constructive vs. destructive. Avoid blaming and the infamous button pushers…”You always”, “you never”, or “you should.” Try to really hear your partner’s point of view. Don’t nod and pretend you’re listening, just waiting to jump in and make your argument. Agree to disagree. You don’t have to change anybody’s mind. Just listen…
Listening well is the secret to having a really great conversation and effectively working through issues that arise. Here are 3 quick tips. Give your partner your undivided, quality attention. Maintain eye contact. Lean in. Keep your body and ears uncrossed and open. Stop yourself from interrupting. Really listen vs. preparing your defense or response,…
No one gets tired of hearing how much they are loved. Often we assume our partner knows. Love isn’t fattening or high in cholesterol so go ahead and be generous. There is no need to limit your dispensing or consumption of it. Here’s your Prescription from Dr Sheri: Say “I love you” at least three…
It’s so easy to become complacent and take the little things our partner does for us for granted. “Thanksliving” is gratitude in action. Take this thanks-giving challenge. Beginning now, notice and say thank you for the many acts of love, support, and thoughtfulness (big and small) your partner does for you and gives to you.…
