The facts and feelings you choose to withhold from your partner paves the road towards disconnection; the feelings and facts you are willing to share, bring you closer. The next time you want to hold back from sharing, ask yourself, “Am I moving toward or away from deeper intimacy right now?”
“Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.” -Dr. Karl Menninger Researchers have found that people in happy, healthy relationships have less stress, better health, and are better able to deal with the challenges of life.
This is a beautiful thought and way of being….“Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor… Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.” -Mother Theresa
Have an agreement in place that promises when issues arise, disagreements occur, you agree to not yell, scream or berate each other. Promise that no matter what you will be ‘NICE’ and RESPECTFUL.
Disagreements can be helpful because they force us to stretch our perspective and leave our comfort zone. It’s easy to embrace each other when things are good, disagreements teach us about real love and acceptance in spite of our differences.
Every relationship obstacle you encounter has two ultimate outcomes: It can emphasize a feeling of separateness OR it can strengthen your sense of connection. Whatever the issue or impasse, this is an opportunity to keep choosing love over isolation and to lean IN vs. push AWAY. Even if it feels counter-intuitive…LEAN IN!
Partners in safe and securely bonded relationships feel: “I can count on you to be there for me.” “I am known.” “I am loved and accepted.” “I count.” “You hear me.” “I belong here.” To provide a sense of safety and grounding for each other, we first have to feel it within ourselves. Know thyself. …
Here’s a simple truth: a relationship is what two people put into it. Just as your car needs gasoline and your body needs food, your intimate relationship needs daily LOVE DEPOSITS to keep it thriving and running well. Expressing love, honest communication, showing appreciation, having fun together is the fuel for a great relationship.
A vast majority of our desire for love and sex occurs in the brain. What you tell yourself greatly impacts your level of desire. It’s time to change the mantra from “I’m too tired” into “I’m ready to be restored and renewed.” Even if you are spent and exhausted, touch each other for 5 minutes.…
The best way to encourage your partner to open up and share is to be open to LISTEN and HEAR nondefensively what he or she has to say. Ask your partner what he or she needs. Encourage sharing by saying: “Tell me more.” Give feedback about what you heard them say.