Eye to Eye
Hold hands, take 3 deep breaths and smile into each other’s eyes. Take a moment to feel your whole body as it is. Profound moments can happen when you look deeply into each other’s eyes.
Body Talk: Sending and Receiving Wordless Messages
It is believed that about 93% of all communication is non verbal. On an emotional level, nonverbal communication answers the questions: “Are you listening?” and “Do you understand and care?” Are you safe? Do you really love me? Answers to these questions are expressed in the way we talk, listen, look, move and react.
Take a Break
When you find yourself anxious or upset about something your partner did or didn’t do, STOP and take a 15- 30 minute break with a specific goal to first release the anxiety and tension and reconnect with yourself BEFORE attempting any problem- solving ‘let’s fix this’ conversations.
Power Struggles: Winning the battle, but losing the love.
The theme of most power struggles is : How are we going to run our relationship.. your way or my way? It’s me versus you; there’s no US in sight. In this polarized ‘right and wrong’ – “I win, you lose” battling— the real loser is the relationship. Disengage by consciously choosing to take off…
Know how to recognize and answer the “Deadly Questions” when they arise.
You know the ones I’m talking about. The low self esteem generated ‘Am I enough?’ inquiries. The ONLY ‘get out of jail’ answer is to meet and greet these questions with a loving, supportive, affirming response. For example: Am I fat? “You look beautiful to me.” Am I sexy? “ALWAYS, TOTALLY!” Am I balding? “I…
STOP YELLING! No exceptions. No excuses.
No matter how boiling, burning or bitter you feel, you must have an ironclad agreement with each other to not yell at or berate each other. When you feel yourself raising your voice, STOP and tell yourself, “This will get me nowhere fast and will only make things worse.” Take a time out. Breathe slow…
Ask yourself…. Is this worth going to war over? Usually it’s not!
Keep your conversation constructive vs. destructive. Avoid blaming and the infamous button pushers…”You always”, “you never”, or “you should.” Try to really hear your partner’s point of view. Don’t nod and pretend you’re listening, just waiting to jump in and make your argument. Agree to disagree. You don’t have to change anybody’s mind. Just listen…
Choose to be a Listener rather than a Judge or an Advisor.
Listening well is the secret to having a really great conversation and effectively working through issues that arise. Here are 3 quick tips. Give your partner your undivided, quality attention. Maintain eye contact. Lean in. Keep your body and ears uncrossed and open. Stop yourself from interrupting. Really listen vs. preparing your defense or response,…
Make love with your senses.
It’s called sensual for a reason! Use every sense (smell, sight, sound, taste, and touch) to inspire, uplift and experience your partner anew. Be creative, curious and a little daring. Think out of your normal ‘box.’ Try eliminating one sense (i.e blindfold your partner) while you increase another (i.e. touch: Use an unusual part of…
It’s never too late to have a great sex life.
Here are 3 quick tips for steaming things up! Start the foreplay early in the day. Calling, sex-texting, emailing each other about the yummy, luscious things you want to do to each other. Don’t go for the known ‘action spot’ first—take it slow. Make your partner wait and build. Be Adventurous: Reverse roles and break…