Often when we are in emotional distress we automatically fall back into primal survival patterns of response. Fight (criticize, push away), flight (get me out of here now!) or freeze (shut down, wall up). The next time this happens, pause, step back, take a few deep, conscious breaths and then do the exact opposite of what you FEEL like doing. For example, if you feeling like running….stay, take your partner’s hand and say, “I’m here for you and with you.” You can begin to literally rewire your brain and break through the automatic response patterns that no longer work for you or your relationship.