Where you put your attention, grows. The moment you sense DISHARMONY stop and ask yourself….Does this way of thinking serve me? If your current thinking does not serve or support your emotional or relationship health, shift your thinking on the spot. Begin to breathe in words like, ‘BALANCE’ ‘PEACE’ ‘LOVE’ ‘KINDNESS’ ‘CALM’ These thoughts will…
Choose your thoughts wisely. What you believe, you will perceive. Keep reaching for the BEST feeling thought you have about yourself. Good is always there, and it grows when you put your attention on it.
When times are hard, pay special attention to your body. Take care of it; relax it; be good to it. Knowing how to self-soothe, how to relax and unwind can help you regain your inner balance and a more positive outlook on life.
Count your blessings. What you focus on gets magnified. Rather than focusing on what you don’t have, make a list of the things that you are grateful for in your life and channel your energy into creating what you do want in your life.
We tell ourselves….“If this changes, then I’ll….” “when my fear goes away, then I’ll…., When my partner does x,y, or z, then I’ll…. This is bogus, you don’t need these things to be out of the way or changed in order to have what you want. Instead, ask yourself….Who am I going to be in…
You can’t change the fact that a stressful event occurred but you can change how you interpret and respond to this event. Try looking beyond the present circumstance to a better and more positive future outcome.
The trick is knowing when to share them and when to keep quiet and let your partner express themselves without giving your opinion, advice for action, or downgrading the emotional content. (i.e. “You’re overreacting”, “You shouldn’t feel that way,” “Why didn’t you say…” “I would have handled it differently.”) Instead, ASK RATHER THAN ASSUME. Ask…
An event or situation only becomes a stressor because we see it as one. You have the power to change your perception.
Rather than focusing on trying to connect or disconnect from your partner, it’s important to learn to breathe and reconnect with yourself first before taking any action.
Underneath the dark shadows cast by fear, is the light of love. Look to see the LIGHT in yourself and in your partner. Connection is then close at hand.