Before building into an argument, or going on auto pilot when issues arise, it is wise to take a pause.  Here’s how to take a PAUSE IN A HEALTHY WAY:  “You gave me a lot to think about and look at.  Can we talk later after I let it all settle in?”  It’s important to make a definite plan to come back to talk about the issue again.  This gives your partner the sense that anything can be discussed and will be considered and that you will return.