CONTACT MORE. CONSTRICT LESS.
For a relationship to thrive it’s important to stay OPEN and in regular intimate contact with each other. This includes sharing both your wows and your woes.
Soothing and Attuning
When your partner is upset Do you know 3 or 4 things that will help your partner calm down, feel safe, and feel most loved? Do you know what soothes your partner? Knowing ahead of time the particular statement that connects with your lover’s heart, a certain move or touch that immediately soothes, not only…
When in OUCH!, do the opposite of your impulse.
Often when we are in emotional distress we automatically fall back into primal survival patterns of response. Fight (criticize, push away), flight (get me out of here now!) or freeze (shut down, wall up). The next time this happens, pause, step back, take a few deep, conscious breaths and then do the exact opposite of…
Take a Break
When you find yourself anxious or upset about something your partner did or didn’t do, STOP and take a 15- 30 minute break with a specific goal to first release the anxiety and tension and reconnect with yourself BEFORE attempting any problem- solving ‘let’s fix this’ conversations.
Shifting Gears
Whether you’re having a minor disagreement or a substantial argument, our brain’s logical left side gets overwhelmed as the emotional right side screams THREAT! and floods us with anxious stress chemicals and primal fight or flight directives. In a blink, you may feel separated and disconnected and see your partner as an adversary on a…
The Art of Melting
If you find yourself stuck and frozen in your position… do this instead: Take 3 deep, cleansing breaths. Stand up and move TOWARDS your partner. Make eye contact and look into the pupil of his/her eyes. Say: “I’m here for you.”
Seal it With A Kiss
Kisses are the food of love. A loving embrace of the lips. Wordlessly, kisses say many things.”Welcome home.” “I cherish you.” “I’m yours.” “I’m sorry.” ” I’m here for you.” A kiss can lift the level of the moment from barren and ordinary to loving and intimately extraordinary. So, kiss and BE KISSED regularly. Try…
Make love with your senses.
It’s called sensual for a reason! Use every sense (smell, sight, sound, taste, and touch) to inspire, uplift and experience your partner anew. Be creative, curious and a little daring. Think out of your normal ‘box.’ Try eliminating one sense (i.e blindfold your partner) while you increase another (i.e. touch: Use an unusual part of…
It’s never too late to have a great sex life.
Here are 3 quick tips for steaming things up! Start the foreplay early in the day. Calling, sex-texting, emailing each other about the yummy, luscious things you want to do to each other. Don’t go for the known ‘action spot’ first—take it slow. Make your partner wait and build. Be Adventurous: Reverse roles and break…
Love is the language of romance.
No one gets tired of hearing how much they are loved. Often we assume our partner knows. Love isn’t fattening or high in cholesterol so go ahead and be generous. There is no need to limit your dispensing or consumption of it. Here’s your Prescription from Dr Sheri: Say “I love you” at least three…