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Yearners and Protectors Quiz

Are you a Yearner?
Do you find yourself attracted to partners
who tend to be emotionally unavailable?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
When in an intimate relationship, do you
find yourself pursuing your partner’s attention
and trying to earn the other’s love?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Are you quick to attach to people?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you tend to become emotionally OVERinvolved,
feeling that your relationship is the MOST
important thing in your life?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you find yourself giving up more and
more of what’s important to you in order
to focus on your partner’s needs?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you need other’s approval to feel good
about yourself?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you make excuses for and justify your
partner’s selfishness?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you tend to blend, comply and adaptively
say “YES,” not to make waves?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you feel like you are not heard or
taken seriously?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you become less focused and therefore
less effective on the job or in your career
when you become involved?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you find yourself talking about your
partner and your relationship (good or bad)
with whomever will listen?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you remain insecure in your relationship
no matter how long you and your partner
have been together?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Are you afraid that your partner will
abandon you if you do something wrong?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Once you know that your relationship is
not healthy for you, does it take a long
time, with a lot of “break-ups and
coming back together’s” until it finally
ends?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Scoring
Values
“Yes”
is worth 2 pt
“No”
is worth 0 pt
“Sometimes”
is worth 1 pt

If you finished with a score value of 14 or more, , then you tend to fall into Yearner patterns of relating in relationships.
Learn more about yearners and protectors here

 

Are you a Protector?
As your partner
attempts to get closer to you, do you feel
guarded, threatened or trapped?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
When your relationship gets too close
or too confrontational, do you tend to quickly
pull away and withdraw or angrily push away
in order to get space?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you think your partner is too needy
and overly emotional and the one with the
problems?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you feel that you can’t rely on your
partner, only on yourself?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you find yourself blocking affection
by becoming hyperrational and detached?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do outside activities such as work, friends,
hobbies keep you very busy and under-involved
in your relationship?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you find it difficult to be emotionally
present and spontaneous?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
When it comes to plans, are you a last
minute kind of person?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you feel suffocated in relationships?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you feel pressured or resentful when
you ‘should’ or ‘have to’ give?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you dislike being told what to do?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you have trouble making decisions or
do you make unilateral decisions?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Scoring
Values
“Yes”
is worth 2 pt
“No”
is worth 0 pt
“Sometimes”
is worth 1 pt

If you finished with a score value of 12 or more, , then you tend to fall into Protector patterns of relating in relationships.

Learn more about yearners and protectors here

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