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Mr / Ms Wrong Quiz

 

The Mr/Ms. Wrong-For-Me
Relationship Test

This relationship
test was created for a feature piece I did on ABC
News
on fine tuning your Mr/Ms. Wrong-For-Me Radar
to help you take a clearer look at your relationship.

Click
here to see the video.

Is your partner available
for love?
Do you feel
like you are continually pursuing him/her
for time, attention and love?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you feel like you are ‘low on the importance
list’ in his/her life?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you make excuses for your partner’s
emotional unavailability and why he/she
can’t be with you or love you in the way
you want to be loved?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Are you in love with
your partner’s potential?
Do you minimize, rationalize or deny problems
in the relationship?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Does your partner have any of the following
issues that keep getting in the way of trusting
or feeling close to him/her?
1. addiction
problems
(alcohol, drugs, gambling,
overworking, anger, sexual)?
2. fear
issues
(allergies? phobias? fear
of change? fear of money? fear of
emotion? fear of commitment? )
3. integrity
issues
(betrayal, lying, cheating)
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Have you fallen more for what’s
on the outside than what is on the inside?
(looks, financial stability, attraction)
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Is your love out
of balance?
Do you care more for your partner more
than he/she seems to care for you?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you recognize that you’re not
getting your needs met or the love you deserve,
but keep telling yourself that he/she just
needs a little more time to get it together
or a little more love and understanding
from you?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
When you want to talk about the future
together or feelings for one another, does
your partner do any of the following?
1 .emotionally shuts down and goes cold?
2. becomes obviously uncomfortable?
3. blames you for being the way he/she is?
4. tries to change the subject?
 

YES
NO
SOMETIMES
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Are you really a
match?
Are your love styles (needs for affection,
sexuality, communication, romance) often
out of sync with each other?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you find that when it comes to what
you like to do or who you are or shared
values that you don’t have a lot in common?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Is more than 35% of the relationship spent
feeling unhappy, in conflict or frustrated?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Are you in alignment
with your personal integrity?
Are you giving up parts of yourself in
order to become the clone of what your partner
says he/she wants?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Have you given up your own interests and
activities in order to fit into your partner’s
life, habits and schedules but find that
he/she doesn’t make any effort to
fit into yours?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Do you hold back sharing your thoughts
and feelings to create a sense of harmony
between you?
YES
NO
SOMETIMES
Scoring
Values
“Yes”
is worth 2 pt
“No”
is worth 0 pt
“Sometimes”
is worth 1 pt

If you finished with a score value of 6 or more, chances are you have already begun to realize that there are some serious relationship time bombs ticking here. While the willingness to compromise is good, if you are the only one doing it, then it’s a major red flag. It’s time to get honest with yourself and ask “Am I getting the love and intimacy I want in this relationship?”

For intimacy to thrive there must be availability, basic compatibility, mutual interests, honesty, trust, emotional openness and a willingness to share who you are.

Nobody is perfect and most issues are workable, but only if both partners are willing to sit down together and commit to working through their differences. If you are alone in wanting to change your partner or the relationship, you are in for a lonely, painful, uphill battle.

Where do I begin?

First:
Ask yourself are you getting enough love from your partner?
Second:
Seriously look at if you and your partner have the same goals for the relationship? He/She may want a playmate and a fun sexual fling while you may be looking to get settle down and get married. Your relationship needs are going in opposite directions.
Third:
Sit down with your partner and take a honest look at what is happening in the relationship. Is there any room for or a willingness to change what isn’t working? Do you need professional help? If you and your partner can’t talk about these things, then there is little potential for an intimate relationship toabout these things, then there is little potential for an intimate relationship to grow.
Honing up Your Mr. Right Radar
Create a compatibility list. All the qualities you would like in a partner. Include qualities missing from past relationships that caused conflicts. Go over this list with your potential partner before going to bed with him/her. Take the time to understand your patterns. The positive and negative qualities that attract you and hook you.

It’s important to Know and Discuss the non-negotiables up front.

 

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